Drama.

I realize it. I understand and embrace it. It's my demeanor. It's my initial read. (if you're inexperienced). Forever grateful that open is my eye. A question that has been bouncing around is can I raise my child without he or she having one? A little being ignorant to conditioning and expectations. It's all I can really hope for my offspring. For now at least. Everyday I delve deeper and deeper into this world of attraction and manifestation.

My oh so real, tangible, magical, Heaven on Earth.

Can't take my eyes off of you.

You remind me of a Fall breeze.

The sweet smell reminder that it's time to get in gear.

I hear the wind in the leaves, rustling, nestling my heart.

Reminding me of how you also, nestle it so sweetly.

Colours dance around beautifully similar to yours on canvas.

You remind me of all that is still sweet & precious even as it's dying.

You remind me that I am ever changing whilst our love is forever

Evolving.

Like a muscle, remember.

Hop once, hop twice and slide. I can walk however on

 MY path, right? Skip down it in the middle of the night.

 Walk backwards and somehow I take flight! 

The path along I can see for miles. On it I see NOTHING but smiles.

 I'm sure the rainy days are ahead of course. 

But deep inside I can't feel nothing but hope. I'm aware that

mistakes are made, but even they illuminate the way. 

Step by step I grow stronger, the path grows longer and 

all that matters is ...........

PROGRESSION.

Much love.

Experiences.

Funerals, weddings and get togethers.
Walking around aimlessly. Wondering
pondering questioning admiring. I felt
disconnected. As if no one was ever
paying attention. No one noticed I did
not shed one tear. I hate the way I look
in this dress. These kids need to read more.
Adults don't know shit. I vowed to keep
my outlook. I wonder ponder question
admire. Connected to the only source
that matters. Expanding and forever - evolving.
888 - -         With much love. Keep shining.

Practice makes Vanessa.

High. High above the ground.

Circling the moon, saying hi to the man.

The grass is moist and my toes have mud between them.

Trees around are pounding me with energia.

Eye contact with a rabbit lifted my spirits.

Follow it.. You are free to do what. ever.

+*The hope to one day have no schedule.

Losing the rabbit, guided by lucky crickets.  

End up in a clear spot. Still surrounded by trees.

Trees filled with nocturnal Aves. Just simply watching.

So I pop a squat, and  observe them also. The luminous

 moonlight makes it effortless.  Their energy is mesmerizing.

Connect back to the Universe. At the same time I was born.

Envisioning backpacking across the world. Giving hugs.

No care or worries ever.  Only love and harmony.

I see so many children. Touching their lives in various ways.

Expunging so much energy that all are given a fair amount.

So much laughter. Vibrating through my whole being.

I am floating back to the moon. Rejoin the man. Catch me

high.. high above the ground. 

The Bruins lost. Ha.

Novel.

About everything

About nothing

A story

I need ideas

I ask the angels for ideas

I love the angels

I love the vibration of the universe

I thoroughly enjoy making wishes

Don’t really look to be understood

I want to surprise myself

I want to be amazed

Every cell. Absolutely amazed

Talk about what I know?

But what do I know?

Everything?

Nothing.

It’s going to hit me like a TON of bricks

My heart will skip a beat

Children’s novel

A Wrinkle in Time

The Giver

Harry…

I want to surprise myself

I don't miss cable in the slightest.

People become really defensive. For no good reason.

Most of the time I swear I just want to leave Providence because I feel so judged. The people who should never point fingers are always the ones doing so. They always feel the need to belittle people while they're at it. I'm really about a complete other life. My energy, aura, vibe, soul are Global. I have enough love for all. I strive to be love. Unless I'm on the road can't EVEN front...

Maybe I'm not even equipped for a higher standard of living.

I jump with joy every time I think about how successful I'm going to be and how many people are going to experience wonderful things through me. 

Great. Theres an asshole at my door.

My best friend,

THE UNIVERSE

How quickly my ideas are beginning to manifest, through you.

Set me free, let me run loose, wind in my curls, teeth chilling.

How subtle little things make a difference.

Like saying will, instead of good ol' hope.

Unconditional love, doing it for yourself, love and humanity.

Making someone smile, lending out a hand, being an ear, a shoulder.

Dreams. Dreams. DREams. DREAms. DREAMs. DREAMSSSSSS.

Passion also. Honesty too. Clarification fully. Nature, Sex definite.

Amor, Liebe, Cinta, L'Amour, Dragoste.

444.

Letter to my Unborn child.

So close. So many times I thought I had you so close. I could hear your laughter, feel your heartbeat. Figments of my imagination. What if my life purpose is to be your Mother? To instill traits in you that I had to dig REAL deep to figure out. To allow you to make mistakes. Allow you to get as dirty and as messy as you want, as I couldn't. What if all I need in this life is you? What if embedded in your breath is my reason for living? My drive to be the greatest Vanessa I can be? It's like, you're crazy Mom. Do you really think I want to come to you before you do all that you need to for yourself? Do you think I want to come in between your dreams, goals and ambitions? I need you to be the best you for yourself, first. But... how I long to rock you to sleep. To see if you'll have my eyes, your Daddy's lips. I want you to demonstrate just how great Stephan & Vanessa are through your actions. My Mom, Dad & I meditate together, don't you guys? We accomplish monthly projects together, don't you guys? Yes, Grandma, yo te entiendo. But then I wake up. I realize that you aren't with me for a reason. The world is just not ready for that surge of love quite yet. Providence is not the place. But regardless, I pray to you like the future deity you are. Watch over me & keep me safe until it is my turn to rightfully return the favor.

Much love, light and joy to you, amor de mi vientre.