Letter to my Unborn child.

So close. So many times I thought I had you so close. I could hear your laughter, feel your heartbeat. Figments of my imagination. What if my life purpose is to be your Mother? To instill traits in you that I had to dig REAL deep to figure out. To allow you to make mistakes. Allow you to get as dirty and as messy as you want, as I couldn't. What if all I need in this life is you? What if embedded in your breath is my reason for living? My drive to be the greatest Vanessa I can be? It's like, you're crazy Mom. Do you really think I want to come to you before you do all that you need to for yourself? Do you think I want to come in between your dreams, goals and ambitions? I need you to be the best you for yourself, first. But... how I long to rock you to sleep. To see if you'll have my eyes, your Daddy's lips. I want you to demonstrate just how great Stephan & Vanessa are through your actions. My Mom, Dad & I meditate together, don't you guys? We accomplish monthly projects together, don't you guys? Yes, Grandma, yo te entiendo. But then I wake up. I realize that you aren't with me for a reason. The world is just not ready for that surge of love quite yet. Providence is not the place. But regardless, I pray to you like the future deity you are. Watch over me & keep me safe until it is my turn to rightfully return the favor.

Much love, light and joy to you, amor de mi vientre.