Brain.

I've always wondered if new and different experiences awaken new and different parts of your brain. Being a woman who's never been pregnant at all, I've always wondered if women who have (regardless of if they have a child or not) are in essence, wiser than me.

This was a draft that I found while making the conscious decision to start blogging again. Whenever I take a trip down memory lane by visiting stress-ness it reminds me of all the positive this brings upon. It reminds me that I am all I need. I am all the entertainment, encouragement and motivation I need. It's all within us. Each and every one of us but we are all clouded. Clouded by wanting to please the wrong people. Stand out to the wrong people. Reach out to the wrong people. Impress people period. I am not here to impress you. I am not here to convince you that my way is right and yours isn't. I am not here to judge you. I am just here to find myself and in turn, help you find yourself.

I'm so glad that I started this blog back in 2009. It SHOWS me growth. It YELLS progress. It makes me REALIZE that I am better today than I was yesterday and I evolve DAILY. Yes, I said evolve but that's a topic for another time. Starting today I will be reconstructing stress-ness and I'm going to try my absolute hardest to blog at least 2-3 times a week. I don't want 2012 to be a complete blur as 2011 was for the mere reason of not blogging. I'm done robbing myself of that love.

Good day. Breathe easy. Don't stop loving.

Algo nuevo.

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people.
2. Stop running from your problems.
3. Stop lying to yourself.
4. Stop putting your needs on the back burner.
5. Stop trying to be someone you're not.
6. Stop trying to hold on to the past.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness.
11. Stop being idle.
12. Stop thinking you're not ready.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn't work out.
15. STOP TRYING TO COMPETE WITH ANYONE ELSE.

Ps. I love StumbleUpon. So what if I'm late?

AYO.

I want to feel comfortable. 

I need to be able to be comfortable. 

The state of comfort is the key. 

Comfort is not to be confused with laziness. 

Comfort is also not to be mistaken with settling. 

Free from stress or anxiety; at ease.

Producing feelings of security. 

Watch this & tell else someone to.

Thanks.

Deep breath.

The world and the people in it are so fucked.

Filled with second intentions.

Hiding behind masks and facades.

Wanting to be EVERYTHING but themselves.

Is that really a hard thing to do?

Or.. maybe they are being themselves and the

problem is that... they just don't love themselves.

Finding yourself is really an amazing adventure.

You can live a conventional life and still look for yourself

BTDubz.

I only say that because I feel like I'm caught in the maze

of daily life. Same shit. Different day. As far as my source

of income and social life go BUT when it comes to the

daily life going on INSIDE of me, I've seen advancements like

never before. I feel grounded. I feel mighty. I feel bright.

I feel lucky. I feel tranquility. I feel intelligent. I feel advancement.

stress-ness.com created to keep stress off Ness, I thank you.

Real.

I'ma take this time to show you how much you

mean to me 'cause you are all I need. No money can emphasize

or describe the love that's in-between the lines.

Boy look into my eyes while I'm grinding on you..

This is beyond sex. I'm high on you.

If it's real then you know how I feel.

Rocking on you babe, rocking,

rocking on you babe, swirling on you babe.

In my mind all I can think about

is a frame for our future & the pictures of the past

& a chance to make this love last!

Some of my favorite songs in life.

Enjoy.

All is lost if it's never earned.

Ever since I was old enough to remember, I've had these crazy migraines right in between my eyes. I feel as though I can bring the aches upon myself just by constantly focusing attention to my forehead. But, sometimes they come on their own so at this point I try to rid myself of the aches by focusing my attention on everything BUT the pain. It doesn't work as effectively though. Quisas it's because I don't FULLY believe I can will the pain away? My horoscope told me the other day to work on being actively positive. It all makes sense. What's the point of half believing in something? or half-assing something? I can preach to the whole world how I don't eat pork but I'll eat a slice of pepperoni pizza because it's not "really" pork? Wait.. what? No. Anyway. I've been trying to work on being actively positive. Key word: trying. I've also been trying to actively believe & have complete faith in my thoughts and dreams. I hope I make it out alive and warm out of this struggle. It's not looking too promising though.

Thank you to those who took the time yesterday to check up on me and listen. I appreciate you more than I'll ever let on because, that's just me. I love you all.

Minor changes.

Can make all the difference in the world. Since I've deleted every application on my phone that connects me to the social networking world, I've decided to elaborate on all of my thoughts on an application called AK Notepad. Then, when I get home, I will regurgitate all of that, on to here to share with you guys. This is day one.

& just for an fyi: I am so sad it's unbearable.

What more can I say?

Solitude.

Oh, so this is what it feels like? I've deactivated my Facebook, Twitter & I'm thinking of throwing my phone off a bridge. I don't want people to know where I am or what I'm doing. I'm sick of feeling trapped. I didn't migrate to this country at the age of 2 to not have any freedom 20 years later, damn it.

What am I saying? Throwing my phone off a bridge... pfft. Fuck me for trying to sound tough like I'm not looking at my phone every two seconds checking for the "hey this might be the message I've been waiting for all day.." light to blink. But, nope. Just someone else hitting me up to smoke because apparently, that's the only way people know how to be there for others this day and age.

I will prevail.

I will win.

I will succeed.

Because I was born to win & succeed. Clearly.

I will be better.

& I will make sure I help everyone around me be better.

TDTB

How could someone you could talk to, each and every day

That you 'bout to marry, be on their merry way

I'm singing through the pain like I was Mary J

Cause we break up to make up like Mary Kay

Rumors leaving tumors on my heart now

We fell in love huh just to fall apart now

I get your calls and I try to disregard now

What was easy for us now is hard now

Huh? Who do it better, we used to move together

Now we not together, is this our new forever?

Some of last year.

We turned 21.

Paola turned 15.

Trips to Boston to visit @BooMBuSSit

Watched @CeezLuciano perform, a bunch

My sisters addition to the family.

Melanie is queen.

See?

Summer boat ride.
Phoenix.
Says it all LOL.Visit.
Highlight.
Still loving.
A lot of Chinese.
Missing this beautiful person. Nahya <3 .

Welcome.

Well, hello there. I hate myself a bit for not blogging an entire year of my life because I can't look back at anything. Especially since my memory is fuckin' shot. I've spent that year on twitter for the most part, trying to befriend people / keep in contact with people who I'm better off without. Uh.. let me be the first to say..

WHAT A FUCKIN' WASTE.

BUT, out with the bad and in with the good meaning back to delving into my own thoughts and focusing less on everyone else's. I seriously think that website had me creating myself a paranoid personality. I don't like feeling targeted, but then I think, who am I to these people to be targeted in the first place? Whatever, you'd be surprised. People are so indirect, it's scary. I'm all set.

This year I will try my hardest to be on here heavy so that I can share my journey to greatness with those who take the time to care and read. If you made it this far I would like to take this time to wish you a very Happy New Year. May it bring you nothing less than what your heart desires. Wishing happiness, success & progression to every soul in this daily struggle. Keep your head up and your thoughts and dreams higher. & above all, never stop loving. Welcome back.